I’ve been on a dry spell lately in terms of inspiration to post on this blog I have here. And I have finally figured out why.
Because life at times can be stifling.
A lot of what we do in this life is determined more by necessity then by our individual wants and needs. I want to do this in my life. But I need to do this other thing over here to survive. So the want and happiness gets pushed to the shelf for another time.
Cobwebs develop, you get older, as your passion just sits.
I find myself having to do this constantly in my life, and I tell myself “You’ll be able to get to it, just do this first”. Or “Just do this for right now, and do what you want on the side”.
But I really don’t want to.
Call me impatient, call me a dreamer, call me lazy. But I find it hard to motivate myself at something that is largely what I don’t want to be doing with my life. Now I could catch heat for this but at this point I don’t care. I don’t want to be the guy who looks up 20 years from now and realize that he is on the totally wrong path. This is my greatest fear. That I look back at what I’ve done with regrets and disgust instead of laughter and joy.
I want to say I will never put myself in this situation again. But we all know how life works. As soon as this is said something comes up, bites you in the ass, and your back at square one. So I won’t say never. But I will do everything in my power to not stray from my intended path. This I can promise.
This post has seemed more like a rant then anything else and I apologize to any readers (if I have any) that wanted a self-help article. As I had to let out a little frustration and have had to continue to curb my enthusiasm just to get by. The goal is not to find something that I must conform to, but something that conforms to me.